Carnforth RUFC

I don't want to join the Army

I don't want to join the Army
I don't want to go to war
I'd rather hang around Piccadilly Underground
Living off the earnings of a high class lady
I don't want a bayonet up my arsehole
I don't want my bollocks shot away
I'd rather be in Carnforth, mighty , mighty Carnforth
and fornicate my fucking life away
Cor Blimey
Monday I touched her on the ankle
Tuesday I touched her on the knee
On Wednesday, I confess, I lifted up her dress
On Thursday I saw it. Cor Blimey!
Friday I put my hand upon it
Saturday she gave my balls a squeeze
On Sunday after supper, I rammed the fucker up her
And now I'm paying 30 bob a week. Cor Blimey!